Something Beautiful Died, Too Soon

 

 

She said, “I wanna grow up soon.”

She was just a young little girl, a tough one although she was only seven. Scarcely ever was she afraid to voice out everything in her little head. But, really, she was big. The brightest among the ocean of little stars in the moonless night. The salient yet the most unsophisticated being. And she put her heart in her sleeves as she lived her settled life under the warm embrace of her father. Thus, she was safe in those tender arms.

She said, “I wanna be big someday.”

The scorching sun was her closest friend. Its burning kiss to her skin was the only one reminder of what time should she return home for she incidentally drowned too deep in her own business–flying the bright-yellow kite high in the middle of July’s bluest sky. She hummed, gleefully. Nothing could beat the feeling when she could lazily flung her petite stature deep in the meadow under the lush of a huge tree, as if it was a solace after a long tiring day. Halfway to the twilight sky–when the sunbeam swallowed the bluish glow and painted it a reddish-yellow–she walked back, treading her mud-soaked little footprints all the way home, smiling foolishly. She was only seven and such a little thing, beyond the shadow of a doubt, could put her in a sanctuary.

And then, someday is today.

She was seventeen. She was also still young and free. Therefore, she was ready to teeter at the edge of the abyss to reach whatever top of a place she meant to be heading to. She liked challenges, too much that she nearly forgot; she was only seventeen. At that age, she only felt that the world was hers, as if the world would dance without restraint in the palm of her hand. Hence, she never hesitated nor was she afraid of the result. She had waited for too long for this day to come. She knew it better than anyone else that all of it was already written on the wall.

That’s why she was unstoppable.

But, in a blink of an eye, youth had dissipated into thin air.

And finally, today is yesterday.

The youth she had held on dear to was already a piece of memory. The world was not hers anymore to kick around. Reality hit her like a truck did. Yesterday, she was only seven, and ten years later, she was seventeen. Then, in no time, she was already twenty one.

She no longer had the rights to be so reckless as when she was on her seven; mooching around and making ruckus mindlessly, then casually asking others to forgive her mistakes, out of sympathy. She was afraid that the world she had would be gone. But, everything came to an abrupt end, eventually. The youth she had held on dear to was already the past. The world was too cruel to be asked to decelerate its rotation. The warm embrace of her father, the meadow under the lush of a huge tree, the bluish glow and the reddish-yellow up in the sky, the little footprints she imprinted all the way home, just because she was already twenty one and not just a young little girl anymore, she had lost the chance to savor those odds. 

She thought that she had become more mature. She thought she had learnt how to be a real adult. She thought that she had casted away all the unnecessary emotions that adults shouldn’t have.

But, that was not how things worked. She might have grown up, she might have been big, but deep down inside her heart, she was still a child. She wanted to feel the warm embrace of her father, sleep in the meadow under the lush of a huge tree, stare the bluish glow and the reddish-yellow up in the sky, imprint the wet-soaked little footprints all the way home after a plop in a trench. She was still twenty one, yet she had to realize that the world was not hers to conquer.

But, that was never how things worked.

It was just that… something beautiful died, too soon.

To not lose herself in the journey of growing up, perhaps, all she needed was a proper rest. To make a wish, a dream, even utter a single word, all of it needed energy. She needed to go easy on her own self so that she could continue to live up to her own expectations.

And as much as she wanted those beautiful moments to reappear in her life; she preferred to make herself get used to the loneliness and value the present.

Because something beautiful almost always dies too soon.